I’ve felt due to different pressures of moving to Cardiff and studying ceramics I have had fragile moments throughout the past few months. I didn’t know whether I was coming or going. My feelings have been extreme and I haven’t been able to know where my thoughts lie. I’ve had difficulty throughout subject as I missed the first term, I ended up playing catchup alongside the field projects and constellation. I’m very aware throughout this project my concentration on Skills is not identified, as a lot of it is based on contextual information. I have developed a few maquette pieces of my thought processes through hand building, throwing and slip casting. I would have liked to look into the techniques of creating metallic glazes with oxides lustres and more. This would’ve given my atomic balls life, and to enhance the mirroring and reflections within the pieces in contrast to it’s surroundings.
Throughout hand building I let my hands do the work. I indulged myself into the piece without knowing what it really was. The presentation of Positive Negative isn’t very present in my work as a lot of it is very improvisational although I had different themes of opposites seep into the visual context throughout. Rather than trying to find a reason to make something especially for the project I just went ahead open minded into making something straight away as time was a huge factor that was running out.
I’ve felt through this project I have been dedicating it towards a deadline rather than developing work I am passionately connected to and feel myself growing within. I want to be able to get lost within the work. Then to be able to take a step back and really see whats been created and how it reflects me, my work and future. I felt myself trying to work as I felt a ceramist would work rather than how I work as an individual. I need to start following my process and path of working, rather than working how I feel people would expect me to.
Within ‘Positive/Negative’ I’ve taken every possibility and got too blurred by so many opportunities, visions and outlooks. I overwhelm myself with ideas, information and research. I love to take a huge vision and see everything possible, but it is very time consuming and mentally exhausting. For future projects I need to narrow down my research to a few artists and themes to then expand a very small subject into my own creation. I won’t feel that I want to hide away from the project because there’s just too much going on that it scares me away. I love the idea of having a fine line of information and research that I can then develop into a very well thought out contextual project. As it is too late to do so in my project, I want to carry out my own projects during the summer with this intention of leading the project myself rather than relying on huge amounts of surfaced information to back up very weak personal practical work.
The project has influenced me to really develop in skills and to look into internships and work throughout the summer to keep my ceramics and academic instincts ticking.